Jasper Batt Jr. vs. Patroklos
Jasper Batt Jr. vs. Patrokolos, is a What-If Death Battle created by Venage237. This fan made Death Battle features Jasper Batt Jr. from No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle and Patrokolos from Soul Calibur V. Description No More Heroes vs. Soul Calibur. Today, two of the most hateable characters in video game history are going to battle each other to the Death. But the question is, will one live, or will both of them get killed? Will The Owner of Pizza Batt, and Number 1 Assassin of the UAA live on to get his revenge on Travis Touchdown, or The Son of Sophitia Alexandra live on to continue his search for his sister? Interlude Boomstick: You know what I hate more that Stupid Teen Pop Stars? Absolutely goddamn nothing! But these two bastards come pretty fucking close. Wiz: Jasper Batt Jr., the 1st Ranked Assassin of the UAA. Boomstick: And Patrokolos Alexander, the son of Sophitia Alexandra. Can you please promise me that both these asshole will die in the end? Wiz: I make no such promises. The best thing you can do is pray. Boomstick: Pray to who? Wiz: I don't know. Just pray. Boomstick: Fine. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who will win a Death Battle. Boomstick: Both of you just die! Jasper Batt Jr. Wiz: Back in the days when Travis Touchdown as an underdog of an assassin, he performs a series of killing jobs to pay the UAA, and to fight the next ranked assassin. One of them was killing the family members of the Pizza Batt Corporation. Boomstick: Too bad he didn't kill all of them. He managed to kill the head of the Pizza Batt Corp, along with two of his sons. But sadly, one of them managed to survived Travis' assassination. Wiz: That's correct Boomstick. The remaining member of the Batt family was the third son; Jasper Batt Jr. Boomstick: Or as a lot of people call him; Jasper Bastard Jr. Travis: BATT! There you are! Jasper: Travis! Took you long enough. Boomstick: But here's a question, if Jasper is a junior, then why does he have two older brothers? Wiz: Well.. uh... I, honestly don't know. Maybe Jasper's mother named their his older brothers? But do you honestly care? Boomstick: No you're right. I don't really care. Wiz: Very well then. After learning that Travis murdered his father and two older brothers, Jasper decided to get some revenge. Boomstick: He did this by literally taking over all of Santa Destroy, and eventually becoming the new 1st Ranked Assassin of the UAA. And he managed to do this all within three years. Wiz: After learning that Travis had returned to Santa Destroy, Jasper's plans for revenge were set in motion. After Travis was warned by the 51st assassin Skelter-Helter, who was apparently hired by Jasper to kill Travis, or forewarn him that someone close to him was going to die, Jasper hired several hitmen to murder Travis' best friend Bishop. Boomstick: Too which he had the decapitated head of Bishop be tossed into Travis' motel room. Pissed off at discovering that Jasper Batt Jr. was the one responsible for Bishop's murder, Travis climbed his way to finally get some revenge. Wiz: Being the 1st ranked assassin, Jasper is no pushover. He loves to psyche out his opponent before the two fight. Boomstick: No shit about that. Before Travis and Jasper fought each other, Jasper has some butlers show Travis the decapitated head of Henry, Silvia, and Shinobu. This pissed off Travis so much, that he wasn't thinking properly when the two fought. Wiz: But once Henry arrived to assist his brother, which it was revealed that the heads were fake, Travis calmed down and continued to fight Jasper with a level head. Boomstick: When Jasper is confronting his enemies, He usually fights in his floating car, thing. Most of the time, he rams himself into his opponent, and cowers high in the corner when his opponent can't reach him. Wiz: And while he is cowering, his office is rigged to generate lasers that move at bizarre patterns. Not to mention, the flying car of his also contain hidden arms on the sides. Plus, he'll distribute bat-shaped bombs. Boomstick: But if he should be tossed out of his flying car, he's far from defenseless. In fact, he carries eight mutation substance that he can inject himself with. This causes Jasper to hulk out, as well as, somehow change his clothing. Wiz: While in this form, Jasper sacrifices speed for raw power... Boomstick: AND UTTER CHEAPNESS!! Wiz: Yeah, that's correct Boomstick. While in this form, Jasper now possesses superhuman strength and durability. He can also shoot out these pink bats out of his cape, plus.... Boomstick: He can fucking teleport. Wiz: Yeah. Jasper, somehow has the ability to teleport at blinding speeds, to the point where even Travis has trouble keeping up with him. And keep in mind, Travis has confronted a couple of speedsters and teleporter. Boomstick: Jasper also seems to prefer to use several wrestling moves. Grapples, heavy strikes, and this one technique where he grabs his opponent, and spin him on his finger, and then finishes them by slamming them to the ground. To make matter worst, Jasper can perform the hurricane punch. With a single punch, Jasper and generate a powerful gust of wind that can send a person flying. And you better pray that you aren't near a window when he uses a Hurricane Punch. Trust us, we know first hand. Wiz: But if he were to somehow be defeated in this form, Jasper has a third form. Boomstick: It's a giant parade float of himself. What a fucking letdown. You want to know how bad it is? It's so bad that not even Henry wanted to be part of this fight. It is that bad. Wiz: But aside on how bad it is, Jasper's third form is pretty devastating. He can float in the air indefinitely. He can also throw powerful punches, AND he can also generate a powerful energy beam from his mouth. Boomstick: You know, I would take this final boss seriously, if it didn't look like that! Wiz: As would I Boomstick. As would I. Boomstick: Jasper is, and I'm sorry to say this, a deadly threat to Travis. This little pipsqueak somehow managed to not only become the next 1st ranked assassin of the UAA, but he also somehow managed to take over Santa Destroy, ALL with in three year! Not to mention, Jasper nearly did get his revenge on Travis. If only Henry didn't step in then Jasper might've won. Wiz: But just because he's the 1st ranked assassin doesn't mean that he's without his flaws. For one, it seems that Jasper doesn't like to get his hands dirty, since he hired several people to do his dirty work as oppose to doing the work himself. Not to mention, while he still did rig his office to make sure that he'll kill the Crownless King, he still ended up getting killed regardless. Boomstick: A pity that he didn't scream in agony when he died. Jasper: Yes... a fight to the death. Get angry - so angry you start convulsing. Now - draw your katana! I'll relish every moment, every second of this kill. May you savour YOUR death as well. Patrokolos Alexander Wiz: Sophitia was one of the most beloved characters in the Soulcalibur series. Boomstick: Unfortunently, she ended up making two of the biggest mistakes in the series. She dies sometime before Soulcalibur V, and gave birth to one of the most unlikeable dicks you'll ever see in Soulcalibur history. And that's saying a lot since they had the nerve to create Dampierre. The "Hero" of Soulcalibur V; Patroklos Alexander. Patroklos: I'll show you the price of justice! Boomstick: And I bet she's regretting giving birth to this little prick. Wiz: Patroklos Alexander is the second child of Rothion and Sophitia, as well as being the younger brother of Pyrrha. Being raised by his father, Rothion use to tell stories about Sophitia and her holy mission to destroy Soul Edge. AS a result, Patroklos, desired to become a holy warrior, and become a bringer of justice. Boomstick: Oh, YEAH! Because nothing says being a bringer of justice then by killing a civilian simply because his skin was pale, just because he assumed to that he was a malfested. Wiz: Right... Anyway, at the age of 15, Patroklos won a sword tournament. But later that night, his father had succumbed to an illness. Boomstick: Before he died though, Rothion told Patroklos that his mother was killed by a malfested, and that his sister was kidnapped by another malfested who was carrying a ring blade. After which, Patroklos made it his duty to find his sister, while bringing his version of justice. Wiz: By the time Patroklos became 19 years old, he'd already become a master of several different types of the fighting arts, and even learned that a man named Graf Dumas, in which he, and his army were hunting down the malfested. Boomstick: At that moment, Patroklos decided to join Graf, so that he could kill the malfested. What he didn't know though is that Graf was actually Nightmare, and thus, was unaware that he's serving the main antagonist. Wiz: Being the son of Sophitia, Patroklos specializes in a sword & shield fighting style. He's known to perform very aggressive combos that leads to a lot of options of finishing off his opponent. He also proclaims that his fighting style is known as the Athenian. Boomstick: While, admittedly, his combat is well-balanced, the only downside is that he lacks the reach. Patroklos' main weapon of choice is the Stigma Sword & Arcadia Shield combo weapon. The shield is not only uses to defend Patroklos, but can also be used as a scabbard for his sword. Wiz: Sadly though, Patroklos' shield is not indestructible. It was destroyed by Z.W.E.I. during one of their fights. Not to mention, Patroklos clearly doesn't give a shit about his weapon, since he abandoned the sword, just mere moments after Siegfried gave him Soul Calibur. Boomstick: So, not only is he a dick towards the people he encounters, but he's also a dick to his own weapon. Wiz: Pretty much. But maybe he's not one who grows attached to a weapon. Boomstick: Even though it suppose to be some kind of family tradition that each of them specializes in some for of combat that involves a sword and shield, as well as pass it down to their next of kin. Wiz: Uh.. yeah, I got nothing. But before be talk about Patroklos' feats, there's one more thing we need to talk about. Boomstick: Oh Yeah..... Well, for some reason, Siegfried decided to give this little bastard to be a wielder of Soul Calibur. But unlike Siegfried's which his blade was big and kinda resembles a broad sword, Patroklos has one that more or less resembles that of a rapier. Wiz: Actually, that blade is referred to as an Iai Blade. But while using the Soul Calibur, Patroklos enters into an alternate persona known as α Patroklos. Boomstick: α Patroklos plays completely different compared to his original counterpart. Unlike the original Patroklos who fights with a sword and shield, he only fights with a aforementioned Iai Blade. Wiz: His moveset is very similar towards Setsuka's. But unlike Setsuka who uses an umbrella to conceal her weapon, α Patroklos possesses a scabbard instead. Boomstick: So this guy has no original move to call his own? Wiz: Yeah... pretty much. Boomstick: So he's a dick towards everyone he encounters and he could be charged for plagiarism. Is there anything redeemable about this prick? Wiz: I highly doubt it. After all, which Patroklos may claim to be a bringer of justice, virtually everything he does can be classified as hypocritical. As Boomstick mention a little while ago, Patroklos did.... uh.... just watch for yourself... Patroklos: You're pale and filthy. You must be a malfested as well. Civilian: No, my lord I am not one of them! Patroklos: Is that so? Patroklos stabs the civilian in the back and in cold blood. Patroklos: How unfortunate there's no way to prove it. Wiz: So, in case you were wondering what happened, Patroklos killed a random civilian all because he was pale and filthy, without trying to deduce on whether or not he was a malfested or not. Boomstick: Not to mention, throughout most of his journey, Patroklos was trying to find and rescue his sister from Tira, and while he did succeed in recuing her, he ends up betraying her. Plus, Patroklos is also short-sighted, arrogant, and all-around stupid, as he can't tell when he's being manipulated. Wiz: His attitude is so bad that even Z.W.E.I. called him a rampaging murderer. But to be fair, Patroklos has an immense hatred towards the malfested, and is determined to kill them by any means. Despite this, Patroklos' actions were considered to be so bad that even fans of the Soul Calibur series questioned on whether or not he's an actual hero. Boomstick: But even if you could make the argument that what he's doing is for the good, it still doesn't change the fact that he never changes, nor learns from his mistakes. Wiz: Yeah, your right. Patroklos is a dick. Patroklos: I am justice! Death Battle (The scene begins with Jasper Batt Jr. in his office waiting for Travis.) Jasper: Travis should be here anytime now. Just then, someone kick down Jasper's door. ???: So you're this evil, I was sent to kill. Jasper: Wait! You're not Travis. You the hell are you? Patroklos: I am Patroklos. A bringer of justice. And your demise... Jasper: You are going to be my demise? You're even stupider than you look. Patroklos: You will pay for making a mock out of me! Patroklos enters in a fighting stance. Jasper: Well, I was planning on killing Travis, but I got time to kill. So how about I kill you first. Jasper's car begins to hover upwards. Patroklos: This shall be your demise. Fight Jasper: This is the beginning of the End! Jasper starts by charging at Patroklos with his hover car. Patroklos managed to block the attack, by using his shield. After a bit of a power struggle, Patroklos managed to push Jasper's car back, and proceeds to attack a downed Jasper. Eventually, Jasper managed to get back up and flies to a corner. Jasper: Take THIS!!! Jasper tosses bat bombs throughout his office. Patroklos got his by one of them, but managed to escape the rest. Jasper then proceeded to ram at Patroklos again. The two clashed, but this time, Jasper managed to overpower Patroklos. An arm popped out of the side of Jasper's car, and grabs Patroklos. The arm then proceeded to slam Patroklos to the ground. However, Patroklos managed to slice the arm, damaging it, and causing it to let go of him. Jasper: You ruined my car! Patroklos: And know I'll ruin you!. Patroklos proceeds to charge at Jasper, and leap onto his car. He then grabs Jasper and tosses him out of his car, and follows it by stabbing, and eventually, destroying his car. Jasper watches in disbelief and anger that Patroklos was destroying his car. Jasper: No.. No.... NNNOOOO! Jasper then pulls out eight injectors and.... Jasper: You will pay for this! ... Injects himself. Jasper's body begins to grow larger, and his muscle mass begins to increase. During this, Jasper, somehow, changes his clothes, donning a green and purple bat uniform. Patroklos: What is that you're wearing? Instead of answering, Jasper walks towards Patroklos. In responses, Patroklos charges at Jasper. As he's about to swing his sword at Jasper, Jasper teleported behind Patroklos, and proceeds to perform a heavy strike. As Patroklos was about to fall to the ground, Jasper teleported again, and performed another punch. He then did it for a third time, and let Patroklos fall to the ground after his third punch. Patroklos managed to get back up, and charges at Jasper. Jasper responses by firing bat shaped out of his cape. Patroklos managed to block them, and managed to reach Jasper. He then proceeded to slash at Jasper several times, until Jasper teleports away. Patroklos: Get back here you coward! Just then Jasper teleports behind Patroklos and grabs him. He then proceeds to spin Patroklos with one finger, and slams him head first onto the office floor. Despite this Patroklos managed to get back up and continues to attack Jasper. Eventually, Jasper teleported behind Patroklos. Knowing that Jasper would be behind him, Patroklos attempted to attack Jasper. However.... Jasper: DIE!!! Jasper delivers a hurricane punch, and sent Patroklos flying. Jasper teleports near Patroklos and continues to perform a few more hurricane punches, while at the same time, trying to get Patroklos to fall out of a window. During the onslaught of Jasper's Hurricane Punches, Patroklos was sent flying at the wall in between the two windows, and in the process, Patroklos' sword and shield fall out of the window. Jasper: Ha, Ha, HAAAA! What are you going to do now? You're completely defenseless. Patroklos: Just Shut Up! What do you know!? Patroklos pulls out the Iai Blade of Soul Calibur, and even becomes α Patroklos. Jasper: What is going on!? Patroklos: This is Soul Calibur. It was given to me by Siegfried. And it shall be the tool to your destruction! Jasper: Don't make me laugh! Patroklos attempted to stab Jasper, but Jasper managed to dodge the attack, and proceeded to grab him. Jasper then proceeded to slam Patroklos on the ground multiple times. He then proceeded to toss Patroklos and performed a hurricane punch, causing Patroklos to be sent flying through the window, and plummeting to his demise, effectively killing Patroklos. Jasper: You were such a waste of my time. KO * Jasper is repairing his office, while waiting for Travis. * A crater is seen with the corpse of Patroklos and the Soul Calibur piercing the road. Conclusion Boomstick: NO! No, no, no, no, NOOOO! Why didn't both of them DIE!? Wiz: Sorry Boomstick, but I did say that I couldn't make any promises that both of them would die. Boomstick: Couldn't you make an exception? Just this once? Wiz: Sorry. No can do. Boomstick: Ahhhh.... Wiz: Anyway, While Patroklos may be a skilled swordsmen, especially since he could fair decently towards virtually every opponent he encounters, Jasper on the other hand has many traits that proved to be too much for Patroklos. Boomstick: Yeah... I will admit that Jasper is much smarter than Patroklos. And while Patroklos did have the advantage at the beginning of this match, as soon as Jasper hulked out, Jasper easily took over this fight. Jasper's cheapness is what ultimately lead to him to his victory. Wiz: Well, there is a bit more than that. For one Jasper is also more durable that Patroklos. After all, Patroklos can be defeated by someone who uses a staff, while Jasper was tough enough to tolerate multiple swings from Travis' Beam Kitanas. And even when Patroklos decided to use Soul Calibur to try to kill Jasper, Patroklos lacks the experience on how to use it. Boomstick: And even if Patroklos found some means of outmatching Jasper, Patroklos would still have to worry about Jasper third form. This would be a problem with Patroklos because he's not that familiar with confronting enemies that can fly, unless you include Elysium, nor is he familiar taking on foes that are twenty feet tall. Jasper just sent Patroklos to a free fall. Wiz: The Winner is Jasper Batt Jr. Boomstick: Jasper Bastard Jr.!! Next Time Battle of the Cryokinetics. Who will be rooting for? Jasper Batt Jr. Patrokolos Alexander Neither Who do you want to win? Jasper Batt Jr. Patrokolos Alexander Hope both of them will die Who's your favorite Character? Jasper Batt Jr. Patrokolos Alexander Neither Who do you Hate more Jasper Batt Jr. Patrokolos Alexander Did you agree with the Outcome of Jasper Batt Jr. vs. Patroklos? Yes No Maybe Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Hero vs. Villain' themed Death Battles Category:'Anti-Hero vs. Villain' Themed Death Battles Category:'Video Games' themed Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:"Male vs Male" Themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2015 Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Series Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Companies